MIND YOUR VISIONS: Transformative Shedding
In 2016 i began a journey, a personal journey of focusing on the life I desired and shedding toxic thought processes along the way. Taking steps to honor myself as both an artist and a human being, in a world that may not always see me the way I want, working toward self acceptance has been a powerful and trans-formative process.
“It was important to separate my self-worth from external markers of success and instead focus on the passion and dedication I have for my craft. ”
Box 4901 director Rob Kempson and playwright Brian Francis have assembled a superstar cast of 13 actors summer Works 2018
Sizwe Banzi is Dead is on stage from May 25 – June 18, 2023 Pictured by Dahlia Katz
featuring Tawiah M’Carthy, Amaka Umeh, Mumbi Tindyebwa Otu Director Tsholo Khalema Assistant Director & Dialect Coach, Sarah Miller Stage Manager Victoria Wang Assistant Stage Manager
Cahoots Theatre's Hot House Creators Unit
I found that self-reflection and self-discovery have been essential aspects of my personal growth and artistic development. By recognizing the toxic thought processes that hindered my progress, have helped me take a significant step towards creating a more positive and empowering mindset. Letting go of negativity and embracing a more constructive and supportive inner dialogue has had a profound impact on my artistic practice and overall well-being.
2018 -2019 cohort: Generator a mentoring, teaching, and innovation incubator that expands the skills, tools, and competencies of independent artists, producers and leaders
2016 and following years, I experienced feelings of frustration and depression during that time when I wasn't actively working in the arts as i desired. It's important to acknowledge that pursuing a career in the arts can be challenging, and it's common to face periods of uncertainty and self-doubt. It's not uncommon to compare oneself to others or focus on what we don't have instead of appreciating our own journey and accomplishments. It was essential to remember that everyone's artistic path is unique and unfolds at its own pace. The journey towards fulfilling your artistic aspirations can be a gradual process, and setbacks and periods of uncertainty are often a part of that process. During those moments when I felt depressed and yearned for more opportunities in the arts, I experienced a range of emotions, sadness, worthlessness and shame. I was 37 years old working at a bakery and feeling more lost than ever. 20 years of pursuing my dreams as an actor and director and no progress was disheartening and even led to feelings of shame.
Are they realistic and attainable? Setting unrealistic expectations can lead to constant disappointment. I had a conversation with myself to reassessing my approach, exploring new opportunities, and seeking feedback or guidance from industry professionals who can provide insights and advice on potential areas of growth. Additionally, it can be beneficial to connect with a supportive community of artists who can empathize with your struggles and provide encouragement. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who understand the challenges of the industry can provide a sense of camaraderie and help boost your motivation and resilience.
First, it's essential to let go of any feelings of shame. Struggling as an artist does not reflect your worth or talent. It's was important to recognize that the path of an artist can be challenging and unpredictable, and success does not always come quickly or easily. It was important to separate my self-worth from external markers of success and instead focus on the passion and dedication you have for your craft. It was important for me to reevaluate my goals and expectations.
I reminded myself daily that success in the arts is subjective and can be measured in various ways. While external recognition and commercial success can be important, artistic fulfillment, personal growth, and the impact I have on others through my work are equally significant. Finding joy and fulfillment in the creative process itself can be a valuable reward. I considered exploring different avenues within the arts that align with my interests and strengths. Exploring other creative outlets, such as writing, education, and collaborating with other artists, which provided new avenues for growth and fulfillment. Its okay that my journey as an artist is unique, and there is no predefined timeline for ‘success’. I needed to be kind to myself, celebrate my accomplishments, and continue pursuing my passions. With perseverance, and a willingness to adapt, I can continue to grow and make meaningful contributions in the artistic field.
It's important for me to acknowledge those feelings and allow myself to grieve for the unfulfilled aspirations. However, i needed to find a balance. It was a crucial moment to recognize that dwelling on what I didn't have hindered my progress. Now, I am trying shift my focus towards what I can do to move forward and pursue my artistic goals.
So I took small steps, introduced myself to other artists, expanding my network, honing my skills, while exploring different avenues within the arts. I Celebrated my achievements, no matter how small, and recognize the progress I have made along the way. It's also worth noting that reaching out for support can be immensely helpful during challenging times.
